I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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