well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
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Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
