Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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