I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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