I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
