would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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