im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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