i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
