are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
