Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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