I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thank you for not boning my boss.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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