You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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