What did we do last night that was yellow?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He passed out mid-signature
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
