his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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