first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
