Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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