she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
