plz talk dirty to me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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