Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
