My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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