Come see our sink grown plant.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
