69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
