I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
