Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize