i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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