So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
