and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
