Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's shark week go big or go home
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
