I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
