I'm so fucking centered right now
my shit smells like andre
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
