it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
