every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
