His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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