420 ftw
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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