Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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