: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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