It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
