Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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