There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
how does that bad decision feel?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
