Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
