I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
