I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
