She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
