I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
