Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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