I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
