you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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