The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
