wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
