Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize