So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
