so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bring me that man meat
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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