we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
my liver is dry heaving
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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