better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
