So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
