You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
