i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I understand Curling. That high.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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