idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
