She even gives head with a lisp.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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