She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A+ Viking dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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