i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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